Have you finally orgasmed yet?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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