Do you still have your period?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
