I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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