I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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