He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
