you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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