i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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