Who wears a wallet chain?!
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
