This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
