Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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