i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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