porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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