So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
