Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
