I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
