I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
