Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
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