There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
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A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
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You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I have aggressive nipples.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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