She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
