His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
no you cant smoke seaweed
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
