Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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