When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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