Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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