Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
