How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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