I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Randomize