Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
