i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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