Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
