I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
