he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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