I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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