So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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