my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
This is classic penis vs brain.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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