There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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