question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
