the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize