i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You may now shotgun with the bride
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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