I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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