aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
