I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize