You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
