after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
