I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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