How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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