She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
