No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
