You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
