You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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