So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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