absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
