Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
