Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
