Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
