You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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