Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
