anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
