I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize